Andoni traditional marriage ceremony goes beyond
uniting of two people in love but also bringing two families together in some
unique special ways which is different from other ethnic group as far as their
marriage traditions is concerned.
The process of marrying an Andoni
lady is presented below: Just like every other ethnic group, after a mature
young man meets an Andoni lady he would want to marry the usual friendships
ensures which serves as courting and giving them opportunities to know
themselves better.
At a stage when it is clear that the
relationship deserves extending into marriage, the man informs his family about
his intentions and arrangements would be made to visit the brides’ family. The
date for them to come would be given to him along with the list of things to
come with.
Introduction/Knocking
of Door in Andoni Itoto-ubok-melafang
means “knocking on the door”. It is considered the formal introduction where
the family of the prospective husbands meets and gets to know each other. The
significance of this visit by the groom and his family is for the groom to be
formal, introduced to the bride’s family and for both families to formally meet
themselves and get to know each other.
Both families would have a
spokesman, in Andoni it is usually the father of the girl that is the spokes
man, and before he will go ahead to say anything or do anything a fee must be
paid. This the varies from family to family but the price is between 30-50,000
naira and this fee is open for negociation to grooms who are from Andoni, but
grooms who are not from Andoni are not given the chance to negotiate. Then the
father of the girl will go and ask the daughter if she accepts the man, if she
says no then they will be asked to leave and no refund will be made. However, if she says yes, then they will continue and
the visitors will be welcomed and given light refreshment courtesy of the
bride’s family.
Then will follow discussion about
traditional marriage, although the date is usually influenced by the bride’s
family basically. The man is expected to come with some quantity of local gin,
and other beverages. If the groom is not an Andoni man, he could be allowed to
come with kola nuts as it is generally not a tradition for Andoni people to
break kola nut for prayers.
The main list for the traditional
marriage is given to the groom’s family and necessary adjustment is made. Then
the man and his family will go with the list and choose a day that they will
come back to say if they have accepted the list or not.
Also, the bride price is discussed
and the bride price varies from family to family or clan to clan. It is usually
dependent on the bride’s father and sometimes the financial strength of the
groom.
On the day of the marriage, the
groom and his family alongside friends and well wishers assemble at the venue
already chosen beforehand. Then the groom will move in to the inner room with
some of his family members to pay the bride price, while some other activities
will be going on outside and the bride will be getting ready for her day as
well. After the bride price is being paid, the groom and his family will demand
that their wife be brought out.
Escorting the Bride
The bride is being escorted by a
group of beautiful young ladies, who are mostly her friends, and some other
ladies that are close to her in the community. Firstly the ladies will dance
out on their own leaving the audience clueless of where the bride is then they
will go to the groom and demand for transportation fare for the bride, and they
will threaten that if the transportation fare is not given that the bride will
not come out. The transportation fare is given the ladies will go back and come
in a circle, with the bride in their middle dancing out, she will be escorted
to her seat.
First Assignment
Then the bride will perform his
first assignment as a bride, her father will give her a glass of wine, and ask
her to go and bring the man that would be her husband, out of the crowd to him,
and whoever she brings out as the person that the father will bless. Then the
bride will dance into the crowd and when she locates her would be husband, she
will kneel before him and give him the drink from her father, then the man will
collect the drink as a symbol that he has accepted her, and when he finishes
drinking the drink, he will stuff the cup with home money and give the cup to
the bride who will take both the cup and the groom to her father for blessing.
After the blessing the couples will be ushered to a special place where they
will seat together.
Cultural Display/Food/Atire
Cultural Display
(Nsaibana Dance) (Maiden Dance)
Andoni traditional marriage is
usually colourful with beautiful cultural displays. The Nsaibana Dance which is
known as the maiden dance as usually darned by young single girls who are ripe
for marriage. They dress beautifully in their cultural attire and are well
decorated with beads. In most cases, as these ladies do this cultural display,
it is believed that they might be lucky and a husband might sight them or get
interested in them in the process.
Food
The uniqueness of Andonie
traditional marriage involves all aspect of their lives, from their day-day
ways of life down to their tasty traditional dishes which make even non native
to always salivate for more after being served. These dishes usually contain
ulmost all types of sea foods, both cooked and smoked, shrimps, crabs, prawns,
periwinkle, ngolo, ngbe, and very big smoked or fresh fishes like agbara, doro,
singr, etc.
Traditional meals such as fisherman soup
and ukpo soup (black soup) are also served.
Traditional
marriage Attire
The bride is usually required to
have two or more outing but the two outings that is almost compulsory is the
first and second outing, which she will use two different outfits, while the
men usually have just one attire.
The first attire for the bride is
called Uwo-Ekut and this means “house of wrapper”. This is a very beautiful
traditional attire for traditional marriage and every woman should wear it on
her wedding day. This outfit comprises the taking of 20 wrappers all at once,
her mother and other women who specialize in tying. This wrapper will help
dress her up, because she cannot be on her own. They will tie the wrapper on
top of each other one after the other until it is 20 in number then she will
wear her blouse (lace blouse) then she will put on Aaklari round her neck (nkpo
Ebex). Then Aakali round her wrist (nkpo-ubok), then she will wear an ancient
bead on her leg to enable her dance. Then she will hold edim on her left hand.
Then the second outfit is usually
simple; in involves the tying of two wrapper of her choice, either George,
single, or English wrapper, with lace.
Then
the groom does not dress too much, the groom puts on a long shirt with long sleeve,
usually called “Atibo”. It is worn with a long piece of wrapper tied from the
waist to the ankle, and some, hung over a shoulder, with Aaklari, and a walking
stick, and in some cases with a black hat.
After the wedding, the ceremony has
come to an end. It is now left for the groom to take his bride to his house so
that she crosses threshold of her husband house and gets into the room where
the marriage is consumed in the night, then they become real husband and wife.
Divorce and Remarry in Andoni
The Andoni traditional system does
not forbid divorce and remarry, and it is not limited to anyone, either the man
or the woman. Both of them are free to initiate a divorce if he or she is tired
of the marriage.
If one party is tired and wants to
divorce, all he or she has to do is to involve the elders and well respected
men of the family, particularly those one’s that were present in paying the
bride price and during other traditional rites. First these elders will try to
talk to the couples to see if they can help resolve the issue. But if they will
not then the woman’s family will be asked to return the bride price back to the
man and his family. When this is done, the
marriage has been annulled peacefully, and the woman and the man will be free
to remarry if they wish.
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Thanks for reading: Marriage in Andoni, Sorry, my English is bad:)